This is English?
In the Scottish language – and we’re not talking Gaelic here – you’ll think it’s a foreign language. It’s English – but with a twist! There are words you’ll hear that will sound  English but the meaning is so different as to leave you lost.

    How – not "in what way" – this means "why" as in "How did you no tell me?"
    Wha – this isn’t short for what, it means "who"
    What way – now this means "how"
    Whit – this is the word for "what"
    Wheen – no, not when. It’s an indeterminate but reasonably large number or quantity.
    Whaur – "where" of course.

    Messages - not what you find when you get back - it's what you get while you're out, such as
    groceries, for the household.  In Scotland you get your messages while you're out instead of 
    vice versa.

    Precognition – if you’re asked about this, you’re not being asked to foresee the future 
    (although many Scots have the "sight"), you’re giving a preliminary statement because 
    you’re a possible witness in a trial.

    Cry - no wet eyes here.  To cry means to name or call, as in "They cried me after my 
    grandpa."  To cry in on someone means to pay them a visit.  "I'll cry in on her next week."

    Bubble – if you hear someone say, "She had a wee bubble at the end of the film", they 
    don’t mean that she was blowing bubbles with her gum. It’s to cry, snivel or weep.

    Bubbly jock – you think you’ve got this one – a guy who has a wee bubble at the end of the 
    film. Nope, it’s a turkey.

    Playpiece - if you need to send a playpiece to school with your child, don't send a toy, 
    send a snack for morning break, such as a biscuit (cookie), packet of crisps (potato chips), 
    or an apple (apple).

    Shin – it’s not that part of the leg below the knee. It’s lower than that – shin is the plural 
    of shoe.

    Potato chips are called crisps and chips are fried potatoes. 

    Pickle - not for your sandwich, it's an indeterminate but fairly small amount of something, 
    i.e. a pickle snow ("of" is omitted).

    Fit is your foot, heid your head, lug your ear, and tummie – well, if you tummie your wilkies, 
    you don’t need an antiacid, you just did a somersault.

    Handless – incompetent and clumsy at any practical task involving manual dexterity – the
    opposite of handy.

    Heehaw – not the name of a TV show – it’s a slang term meaning not the slightest bit or 
    nothing at all.

    Fin (rhymes with tin) – you’re sure you know this one – a fin is on a fish, right? Nope. It
    means "to find" and the past tense is….foun for found? No. The past tense of fin is fun, 
    as in "Where did you get that?" "I fun it."

    Doubt - to doubt something can mean to be inclined to believe it. "I doubt it's going to 
    rain."    Well, do you think it is or not?

    If you hear the words "Ben", "Fell", "Burn", "Knowe" (pronounced now), "Park", "Law", and 
    "Loan", you might think a guy named Ben just fell and burned himself in the park, that 
    lawyers are involved and perhaps he’s having to borrow money. Actually it’s probably a 
    geography lesson as a Ben is a mountain; Burn a stream or brook; Fell, Knowe and Law
    are types of hills; Park an enclosed field on a farm; and Loan a lane or path.

    When counting, you may hear Yin or ane – one; Twa – two (in French, twa is three); 
    Tri – three; Fower – four.   Two Highlanders were discussing the perils of war in 1915 and 
    how they  were going to handle matters since they spoke little French. "And hoo in the warld 
    are we goin’ tae get oor breakfast?" said the younger of the two.  "Oh, dinna fash yersel’ on
    that!" answered his friend who had been to France once before. "The waird for eggs in 
    France is oof. So ye sit doon and say ‘I want twa oofs.’ The silly auld biddie fetches ye three,
    and ye send ane back!"

    There are other words that will leave you totally clueless.

    Foonert - something that has broken down or someone that has failed.

    Bidie-in – a term we haven’t really found a word for in the States – someone’s bidie-in is 
    the person living with them although they aren’t married.

    Well-fired – a roll, scone, etc., that has been baked for a longer time than usual so that the 
    top crust is dark brown or black and crisp in texture – in other words, burned.

    Puggled – to have reached a state where you feel that you can do nothing more, usually 
    because of tiredness.

    Baffie –  slippers

    Bumfle – a wrinkle, crease, or fold in material. "Me kilt had got all bumfled up at the back."

    Blate – very timid or backward at coming forward. "She was too blate to tell him his kilt 
    was bumfled up and his behouchie could be seen." (Behouchie is an informal name for the
    backside)

    Dreave – to deafen, bewilder or weary others with noise or talk.

    Dander – to stroll, which is probably what you’d want to do if someone has been dreaving 
    you.

    Wabbit (rhymes with rabbit) - it's not what you catch, as in the old riddle, by hitting it with 
    a wock - it means to be tired, run down and lacking in energy.

    Skirl – loud shrill sound, often used to describe the sound of bagpipes, but also used to 
    describe the sound of food frying.

    Skirlie – don’t say skirlie bagpipes as skirlie is a dish of oatmeal and onions fried together, 
    eaten as a vegetable with meat dishes, or on its own with potatoes.

    Smirr –  a drizzly rain falling gently in small drops.

    Yett – this isn’t a familiar name for a yeti or abominable snowman – it’s a gate.

    Dochter (pronounced dawCH-ter) – not someone you go to when you’re sick – unless she 
    has a medical degree. This is a daughter.

    Sneck – not the past tense or plural of snake, it’s a catch or latch on a door or yett. 

    Peeny – no, it’s not money or a small pin; it’s an apron.

    Flair – what you put your shin on – it’s a floor.

    Forfochen – exhausted or worn out

    Hingy (rhymes with clingy) – slightly unwell or tired and looking for sympathy or attention.

    Foosty is moldy and you wouldn’t want to hain something foosty, unless you’re making
    penicillin. Hain is to save for possible future use.

    Chitter – to shiver with cold.

    Weesht – if someone says this to you, you’re not being asked what you wished, you’re being
    told to "Be quiet!"

    Whigmaleerie (pronounced whig-ma-leer-ee) – a decoration, trinket, or ornament.

    Teuchter (pronounced chooCH-ter) – a Lowland name for a Highlander

    Sassenach – derisive Gaelic term used to describe the English, due, among other things, to 
    their use of soda to dilute their whisky. 

    England – a small, flat section of Scotland, to the south of Edinburgh somewhere.

    Mither - mother; coo - cow; hoose - house; gairden - garden; neebur - neighbor; 
    moose - mouse.   Dinna ye ken English?

    These are Gaelic terms:

    Slainte mhath (pronounced slan-ja vah) – a Gaelic toast meaning "good health".

    Ceud mile failte (pronounced Kee-ut mee-luh fah-ill-tya) – Gaelic phrase meaning 
    "a hundred thousand welcomes" 

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